WHAT TO DO IF A FRIEND OR COWORKER IS ABUSIVE AT HOME

If you suspect a friend or co-worker is being abusive at home:

1. Do express empathy for difficulties experience by this person.
2. Do advise the abuser to stop the violence; just like you would advise someone not to drive drunk.
3. Do maintain that there is no excuse for violence.
4. Do remind the person that only he/she controls his/her behavior. No one can make him/her be abusive or lose control.
5. Do say, "I'm concerned. It's clear that you feel a lot of anger and tension over this. What can we do to make sure nobody gets hurt"?
6. Do refer the individual to a perpetrators intervention and counseling program.
7. Do provide the individual with referral information to the Employee Assistance Program if he/she is a co-worker.
8. Do make an effort to stay in touch with this person. The perpetrator maybe as isolated as the victim. Be persistent and realize you may have to take the initiative.
9. Do not blame the victim.
10. Do not be taken in by excuses.
11. Do not assume the victim is safe if he/she says it won't happen again, even if the person who has been abusive is remorseful.
12. Do not try to physically intervene. Rather, call the police.
13. Do not feel guilty about calling the police. You might be saving someone's life.