Domestic Violence

Red Flags To Consider
	Common Characteristics Of A Batterer
Intimate Partner Abuse
Inside the Home
	Generational Effects Of Violence
Cycle Of Violence
Power & Control
Legal Issues
Important Facts
	Bibliography & Web Links

Community Resources

	What Do I Say & Do When Someone Says They Have Been Abused?
	Do's & Don't's When Responding To Families Experiencing Domestic Violence
	Men Standing With Women As Advocates
	Domestic Violence In The Work Place
	Employees Work To End Domestic Violence
	Employers Work To End Domestic Violence

WHAT DO I SAY AND DO WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY HAVE BEEN ABUSED?

•  I am so sorry this has happened to you.

•  Are you and the children safe?

•  How can I help? What do you need?

•  This is not your fault. You don't deserve this.

•  You are not alone. I am here for you and there are people at the Crisis Center who know how to help. Encourage her to call the Community Crisis Center (847) 697-2380 and talk to a professional counselor. You can assure her everything she says will be kept confidential and it is free of charge.

•  Listen to her. Assure her you will not share what she says with anyone without her specific permission.

•  Believe everything she says; do not doubt her; do not question her accuracy. Do not make suggestions about what she "should" do.

•  Offer whatever practical support she asks for and that you can provide: rides to the grocery store, church, appointments, etc, child care so she can have time to run errands or just to think and plan, an invitation to "go for coffee"....